Moving on

My mom called me yesterday and told me that a letter came from the University of Colorado in Boulder, telling me officially that they will not be offering me any scholarship money for the coming year (zero!!).  At this point I actually am not surprised by the news because the situation there has seemed very much in limbo for the past weeks.  After my audition Dr. Korevaar told me that an offer would be coming for me in early March, but early March came and went, and an offer did not. So I wrote an email to them and didn't hear back for several weeks, so finally I called the graduate office and a lady there told me that she didn't see my name on the list of scholarship recipients - They had already sent out their offers to their first choices, and I was not one of them. She told me though, that I might be on the "2nd tier" or "3rd tier", so that if somebody who received an offer rejects it, they might offer it to me instead. But now it's clear that I was not on the 2nd or 3rd tier, either!    So, I was disappointed about that (because I had been really excited about going there)--- but I think that there must be something much better in store for me (I don't know what yet... but something!). 

     This reminds me of the time that I auditioned for the Artist Diploma program at TCU, and received no scholarship money.  Back then I was really upset and disappointed, and hurt actually, because I knew all the teachers there and I had thought they would offer me something. But if I had gotten into the program there I would still be there right now, and would never have come to the conservatory here in San Francisco!  And I am sooo happy I have had this amazing opportunity. I  have learned and changed and grown so much this year.   And now, I guess because this one door has closed to me, all the others are still open now!   We will see what the future holds... :-)

     Tomorrow I have to play the last movement of my Schubert Sonata for studio class.  I just got it memorized aaaaaaaa!  I'm nervous, but I'm nervous about my recital in general; everything is coming up so fast!     My time at the conservatory is going to be over in a flash!  I can hardly believe it.  One month left with all my wonderful teachers.   But they are all so wonderful that they say I can come back any time and they will listen to me and give me lessons again (Jane and Paul have both told me that!).  And I'm sure my Italian teacher would be happy to meet with me and chat in Italian again.  I love it when I feel like I have made a new (or a few) life-long friends.  Life is good.

Okay must go sleep so that my brain can try to organize all the work I did on Schubert today.

Goodnight!